To Persevere

As often happens in a group of unmarried young folks… attraction showed up. One day, James approaches Carol with all of the courage he can muster: “Carol… I would like to ask you on a date.” Carol, with all the love and authenticity in her heart looks back into his eyes: “No.” Carol thought James was a great friend and really appreciated his friendship, but there was no attraction on her part. Eventually, to try and protect James, she even tells him that they can no longer be friends. She doesn’t want casual friendship to lead him to thinking that there’s ever a shot for more. So boundary lines are drawn and James picks up pieces of his heart and walks away.

But community is community… when true community happens you never walk too far away. So eventually Carol and James found themselves in the same circles again. And like a perennial flower, all of James’ love for Carol bloomed again. Once again, James approaches Carol with all of his courage. And once again, Carol sends him away. I talked with Carol I-don’t-even-know how many times over the past two years as this process continued. I always thought they would be a cute couple, but not if Carol didn’t love James back. How do you maintain a friendship on one end while the other end wants more? After a few cycles of this, Carol drew clear boundary lines… not only with James but with those of us who thought they would be a cute couple as well. Friendship welcomed… nothing more… don’t even ask.

Last January when Corey and I were in Texas we were eating at Texas Roadhouse with some of our supporters. Eventually, we see Carol and James come in. Corey looks over at me and whispers, “Oooo… I wonder what’s going on there?!” at which point… being the good friend that I am… I adamantly proclaimed, “No! Absolutely not! Don’t even mention anything of the sort! There is nothing and never will be anything more than friendship there. They are probably meeting some 20/20 leadership here.”

Two days later we find out they are dating… and have been for a month! Turns out, in the midst of their strict friendship, Carol found something else in her heart. Love. Amidst the cheers of victory from all those who have watched their story, on Saturday, May 9, Carol and James were married.
 

In the midst of the ceremony, the pastor reminded us that a wedding ceremony is not only a celebration of the love of this couple, but is a reflection of God’s character. While he mentioned none of their story, I felt God began to replace Carol and James with me and Him. God reminded me that He is my Lover who has persevered through much more than James has with Carol.

The first time I talked with James after they were engaged, he said something profound. While those two years were far from fun, he adamantly maintained that, “She’s worth it.” As I watched these two friends enter into covenant with each other, I heard God whisper “You were worth the wait, too.”

I have a story filled with parties and addictions, turning to God for forgiveness every Sunday, but always holding Him at arms’ length when it came to a relationship. “Sure God… we can be friends… but let’s keep our boundaries here. You can only have so much.” God always stuck with me… and respected my boundaries too. He never pushed Himself into my life, but He stuck around as close as I would let Him. A few times He would remind me how much more He wanted from me, but every time I pushed Him away. Then one day… while God remained “that friend over there” I found something in my heart… or maybe I should say I found that there was something missing from my heart. I was tired, addicted, broken, and hurt and here He was offering me life, freedom, healing, and wholeness. Finally, I turned and said, “Okay… we can try this out…” And then… amidst the cheers of victory from all those who watched my story, in May of 2002, I said “I do.”

Congratulations James and Carol! May your story continue to show God’s amazing, patient love!