A Big Gulp of Humbled Thankfulness

So those of you who follow us regularly know that right now is Support Raising Time for the Jacobs. And what that means is that money is a bit tight in the process. In addition, we paid our car insurance this month. We had been saving for it and had the money to pay it… but… well to make a long story short money is pretty tight right now.

One of the great things in our life right now is all of the mentors and “life-speakers” we have around us. All of our co-workers, the Borg’s who we rent from, and our church family are all people who are wise and encouraging. So during this time when we’re tight, I’ve had great people around me to talk and pray with. I’ve never felt the need to hide finances. You only hide something when it’s bad, right? Well… to me the best way to be a good steward of finances is to be highly open with them. So Corey and I are easily talking with people and sharing our struggles.

And yet… even with this great community around us, I struggle with this. I still have that horrible pride in me that says I need to be able to take care of myself. That Corey and I should just handle this on our own. That we’re “better people” if we have no money problems. Not that it’s Biblical or logical really… but it’s my mindset sometimes. So today I was grumpy. We ran out of some groceries and the gas tank was sinking. I was stressed… and I was grumpy… and unfortunately Corey had to be around that this afternoon.

I really was trying not to let my stress show. I was trying to be a sweet wife… but he knows me too well for me to be fake. So we went to the store and began buying. I wrote down the price of everything we picked up to make sure we had the money to pay for it. As we approached the check out line I pulled out my wallet and there it was… a Wal-Mart gift card. Just tucked in to the front of my wallet. Where did it come from? No clue. Who’s it from? No idea. We have so many amazing co-workers that any of them around us could have snuck it in today at work. And they are all completely amazing people who would do something like that. I nearly started crying in the grocery line… how amazing.

Then we came home… me still swallowing what had happened… and began to cook. And there was a knock at the door… the door upstairs that is. The Borg’s came down with a big basket and two bags full of groceries – a thank you gift for taking care of their dog while they were gone. This time I did start to cry.

For a half a second I started to feel bad that others were providing for us. But then I remembered…

…this is real Christianity. This is what Jesus came for. Jesus came that we might live in such a way that we all walk together through life… that my struggles hit your heart and yours hit mine… and I sell my possessions to provide for your needs and vice versa. This is Church. This is Life. This is counter-cultural revolutionary living. It doesn’t make sense… sometimes it doesn’t feel right… but it is right. This is what it’s all about… This is love.