Laura and Corey's birth Story began on Wednesday, June 8, 2011, at 38 weeks and 4 days into their pregnancy. Laura's water broke about 7:40 that morning, and she called her doula, Alicia at 7:43 to let her know that today was the day. They texted back and forth about an eating plan for the day and ideas for keeping active, and at 10:25, Laura texted: "Felt the first contractions. Not regular and not intense. Walking and on our way to the store now."

At 12:43, Laura called again, and Alicia gave her some suggestions for augmenting labor. They had just talked to Jack, their midwife, who said he wanted her to be in labor by 3:00. He was also calling his back-up midwife, since he wouldn't be able to be at the birth. At 1:52, Laura texted  Alicia that they she had had 4 contractions in the last hour, and when they spoke on the phone at 2:30, they had picked up quickly, and were now about 8 minutes apart. Laura felt that she was ready for Alicia to join them.

After getting stuck in traffic and behind an accident, Alicia arrived at 4:15. Laura was contracting about every 6 minutes, and talking and laughing in between them. Laura, Corey, and Alicia chatted for awhile about the excitement of the day to come. At 5:30, Alicia suggested taking a walk around the neighborhood. After a 45-minute walk, which included some hills about which Laura had been skeptical, her contractions increased substantially in intensity and frequency; they were now coming every 3 to 5 minutes. Alicia made Laura a smoothie while she and Corey moved between slow dancing, and kneeling on hands and knees over the birth ball. Corey and Alicia commented on how she seemed to be much more serious during these contractions, and how that was a good thing. Laura moved into the bed for awhile, and decided about 7:20 that she was ready to head to the hospital.

Alicia followed them, and they all arrived at Northeast Georgia Medical Center about 7:40. As the hospital policy allowed only one "guest" in triage, Alicia waited in the waiting room while Laura and Corey went in for assessment. When the nurse checked Laura, she was 4 centimeters dilated and 90% effaced.

They were admitted into room 10, with Anna as their nurse, and Alicia was able to join them again at 8:30. After it took two nurses to get her IV inserted, nurse Sarah said, "You have access. Should you want anything for pain, just ask," to which Laura replied, "I have Alicia for pain."

Laura, Corey, and Alicia continued to labor on their own, walking the halls and moving through contractions. Laura got into the shower about 11:30, which turned into a bath about half an hour later. Anna checked her in the tub about 12:30, and she was 5-6 centimeters dilated, 90% effaced, and the baby was at about a -1 station.

Laura stuck to her plan of keeping moving and made frequent changes between walking, moving on the birth ball, dancing, kneeling, and squatting. Alice arrived at 1:20 a.m., and after staying for a little while, moved to the waiting room. Laura was checked again at 3:20, and was 6 centimeters. The decision was made to to begin pitocin. Laura's IV had come out, and after two more nurse attempts, was replaced at 4:20 and the medication was begun. Corey and Alicia continued to support her with massage and encouragement.

At 5:30, Laura vomited, and when Corey became a little green, Alicia took over as bucket-holder, which they joked about later. The new nurse, Tyra, came on shift at 7:00, and when she checked Laura at 7:40, she was 7 1/2 centimeters. Alicia went to grab some breakfast with Alice shortly thereafter, and Jack came in for a quick visit.

Laura was working even harder through her contractions, and at this point had gone mostly within herself. Her eyes were closed most of the time, and during a contraction she would move and repeat, "Shhhh, shhh, shhhh...." Corey and Alicia talked with each other about not knowing if she was telling them to not say anything or if it was simply a coping technique.

At 10:45, Laura's cervix had not changed, and about 15 minutes later, she and Corey made the decision to have an epidural. While she was waiting, she opted for a dose of Fentanyl. When the epidural was placed at noon, Kim stated, "You need to be ready to push by 2:00 or we're going for a c-section." While Laura got some much-needed rest, so did Corey and Alicia. A new nurse, Holly, came on duty at 3:00. Five other births kept Kim away until 3:30, and when she returned to check Laura, she was completely dilated. The room was set up for delivery, and Laura began pushing about 3:50. The majority of pushing was with only Corey, Holly, and Alicia in the room, with worship music playing softly in the background and the others encouraging Laura quietly. Laura pushed beautifully and made steady progress. About 5:30, Laura had a round of heavy nausea, and as Holly called for Kim, Laura started throwing up. As she vomited, the baby's head moved from about a golf-ball size being seen, to his entire head being born. Kim ran in the room just in time to catch him. Ezekiel Richard Jacobs made his way into this world at 5:40 p.m. on Thursday, June 9, 2011, weighing in at 7 pounds and 14 ounces, and measuring 20 inches long. His head circumference was 14 1/2 inches, his chest was 12 3/4 inches, and his Apgars were 8 and 9.

Little Zeke latched on and nursed like a champ. After Alicia noticed that he was showing some signs of minor respiratory distress, he was taken to the warmer for deep suction, but was soon back with his mommy and daddy for cuddles. When Alicia left about 7:30p.m., she left behind a beautiful new baby, and a happy new family of three.

 

WELCOME TO THE WORLD, SWEET BABY EZEKIEL!!

**********

Anne Lamott is my current hero. I don't know anything about her except for one book: Operating Instructions. It's her journal about her son's first year and her struggles as a single parent. It's good writing, but there's one marvelous thing about Anne… She's HONEST.

I need some honesty right now. I especially need some honesty from a mother right now. Because while Zeke is beautiful and wonderful and miraculous and everything I dreamed of and prayed for… this is HARD.

I've avoided writing, journaling, even talking for the past few weeks. I've worked on mostly keeping my mouth shut… or focusing on talking about something other than Zeke. The reason? I'm worried about what I'll say. I'm worried that when the next mom bends over his cute little face and asks me if I'm so in love with him, “No” will pop out of my mouth before I can stop it. I'm worried that the next time somebody asks if they can hold him I'll say “You can keep him” before I forget to pretend I'm reluctant to let him go from my arms.

 

In all honesty those are real thoughts that swim in my brain. Mostly at 7am, when I've been up for 2 hours, and Zeke is nowhere near going back to sleep. Of course after I've had a nap, he returns to being the most cute and cuddly little dream I've ever had. I don't know which thoughts are real. I just know they both exist in my head and neither seems to be winning the war for dominance just yet.

 

The good news is that I have a few wonderful people in my life who have had kids before and they've been honest about the hard parts. So… now that I've come out of hiding I'm embracing one motto: This Is Normal. I no longer believe I'm bad a mom for not wanting to be awake at 3am. I no longer believe that wanting to hand him to someone else so I can eat my dinner at a normal human pace is a bad thing. I am just as normal as every other mother of a 3-week-old baby. The only difference? I want to talk about it.

 

I think it's important for women who are not yet mother's to have an honest space created and ready for them before they have children. And since we live in a community that is mostly just beginning to transition from singles to newly-marrieds… now is a good time to create that space for future mothers.

 

Ladies: it's the most beautiful, wonderful, supernatural, awful, torturing, self-killing thing God ever does. There. I said it.

 

Actually… there's the point: Self-killing. I've never realized just how selfish I was until Zeke arrived. 3 weeks ago I never would have checked yes to selfishness on the sin quiz. Of course there's the normal human amount… but I could definitely point to various acts on a daily basis that were done for someone else's benefit. See? Proof I'm not selfish.

 

Until there's a small creature that demands me and only me 24 hours a day. Then I find out that the selfishness box deserved a giant red X. And then a whole bunch of thoughts in my head that prove a few more boxes need checkmarks as well.

 

So now Zeke and I… we're on a journey. I'm daily asking God for an unselfish heart, a willingness to love Zeke more than myself… all day long. And I'm also asking for wisdom about parenting a newborn… and helping Zeke on his journey as well.

 

Cause Zeke has a problem too. He's also selfish. We sometimes have simultaneous crying sessions because we each want what we want and somehow those two things are conflicting. And Zeke doesn't know how to give up his side and let Mommy have her way just yet. Mentally… and after a nap… I can tell you that he's not supposed to know that. But one day he will… and we're on a journey to get there.

 

One day Zeke is going to be the little boy at the swimming pool who doesn't punch the other kid in the nose for taking his toy… but willingly shares. Zeke will be the little boy in kindergarten who helps other kids stand in line to take their turn at the slide… because he knows about taking turns. Zeke is going to be a man who knows that life-giving community is where you prefer others and honor them. I know these things about him… I know these visions of his destiny.

 

…and I know it's gonna be a journey before we get there. But we will get there… together.

Part 2

 

Alicia is in her car waiting to follow us. Corey throws the hospital bags into our car and Laura climbs in the backseat. Corey puts the carseat in the back and places the birth ball on the carseat base. Laura kneels in the backseat and leans forward onto the birth ball to cope with contractions. Corey drives very carefully, staying quiet and calm outside, but inside screaming at the other cars "MOVE OUT 'DA WAY!!!" Laura occasionally thinks of how funny she must look to those they are driving by... but ultimately couldn't care less.

 

7:42pm - The group arrives at the hospital. To get in, there is a black phone to pick up that connects the person in the waiting room to the triage nurse. Good thing Corey and Laura took a hospital tour or they never would have guessed that's how to get in! In true hospital fashion, the nurse on the other end says "How can I help you?" After considering ordering a burger and shake or asking for a mani/pedi, Laura says "Ummm... I'm in labor?" The nurse says to wait there and someone will come get them soon.  Of course, this takes forever. Granted, forever at this point is really only 8-10 minutes, but that is 3 contractions! Finally a nurse comes out and brings us to get checked in.

 

The next stop is affectionately known as the "Prove your labor" room. This is a small room and only Corey was allowed to come with me. It's not such a nice first impression to send away someone's labor support! In this room, Laura is hooked up to the monitor to see the baby's heartbeat and the contraction times. While the monitor is running, a nurse asks 50 ba-gillion questions, most of which seem to be out of left field and highly irrelevant to whether a baby is coming now or not... but such is life. Laura has her first exam - 4cm, 3-5 minutes apart... Ezekiel has passed his first test!!

 

 

8:00pm - Welcome to Labor and Delivery, Room 10! Laura tries to get comfortable while Corey goes to get Alicia and then set up shop for labor. In Laura's labor bag are an outfit, inspirational posters, and all the tools they had gathered through How to Have a Baby class. Funny enough, at this point Laura couldn't care less about any of those items! Other than the birth ball, Laura's bag stayed pretty much packed.

 

On a funny side note, during baby class we discussed how a warm fuzzy robe wouldn't be necessary for having a summer baby. But for some reason, Laura decided to pack her robe anyway. Corey was very thankful for this robe as he wore it most of the time to keep from freezing in the labor room!!!

 

8:00pm Wednesday - 5:00am Thursday - Holy active labor Batman!! Contractions remained 3-5 minutes apart, but during this entire time, Laura only moved from 4cm to 6cm. Alicia worked with Laura to not simply cope with the pain but to help labor progress. Together they would stand and do leg raises and squats. Each time Laura would take a deep breath and choose not to talk about how painful that made contractions, but instead to talk about how effective that was! Amazing how that one little word can change an attitude! Laura spent time on the birth ball, leaning over the bed, and other various positions to cope while progressing. Eventually, Laura moved to the shower for some relaxation.

 

After a while in the shower, and eventually soaking in the bathtub (despite the fact that it wouldn't stay filled) Laura was nicely relaxed while still having contractions. The nurse offered to check her in the bathtub, and announced Laura was only at a 6. This was probably the most discouraging moment for Laura. She began to gently cry and say "I don't want to be a 6!"

 

5:00am - Because Laura's water had broken, the clock was continuing to tick down on how long she would be allowed to labor. This meant that it was time for the dreaded P word... Pitocin. Pitocin is a replacement for the labor hormone commonly given to begin labor or to help labor progress. Many women describe labor pains on Pitocin as much more intense pain than natural labor. Laura began to battle her thoughts now. On the one side, Laura knew that her biggest doubt about being able to labor naturally came with whether she could cope with labor while on Pitocin. And yet even that morning, a good friend had talked about having no pain medication and a great delivery despite being induced. Could Laura really handle this new point in labor?

 

Contractions on Pitocin definitely changed. Laura progressed into Transition - the point of labor between 6 and 9 cm that is often described as the most intense. In fact, in training future World Racers, Laura had heard many talks about surviving transition periods and even heard labor as the main analogy! Laura mentally retreated to an inner, focused placed. Through a lot of touch and very little talking, Alicia and Corey supported Laura as she focused on each contraction. While Alicia continued to help with positions on the birth ball, standing, stomping, and walking, Laura mostly focused on her thoughts, using hypnobirthing and guided imagery techniques almost unconsciously.

 

The only time this process was interrupted was when Laura needed the dreaded pink tubs... The Vomit Bucket. For those of you who have ever walked through life closely with Laura, you will know one thing - She's a puker. Corey actually was surprised that it took this long before Laura began puking! The first time, Corey grabbed the bucket and held it for Laura, but Alicia immediately noticed he was more green than the vomit and quickly relieved him of that duty.

 

Later on, when Laura was complimenting Corey on being so present and supportive, he would confess that the hardest point was after Laura would puke and then want him face to face to help her breathe!! Sorry about the breath honey!!!!

 

In the midst of Laura's transition labor, she found her "mantra", a sound to make to focus during the contractions. Funny enough, this sound was  "shhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!" Alicia shared with Laura after labor that they would all be together quietly focusing on a contraction, breathing and "shhhh"-ing when a nurse would walk in and start talking. Laura would immediately turn to the nurse and start loudly "shhhh"-ing at her! Apparently, no one was allowed to talk until the contraction was over!

 

Sometime in the morning as Laura was on the birth ball, she began to feel the need to push during each contraction. While this was much more intense, it was also very exciting as this could mean Laura was reaching fully dilated! Alicia cautioned Laura to wait just a little more before continuing to push. A nurse should come check her because if Laura was pushing too early, it would actually cause more harm than good. The nurse came, and unfortunately Laura was still only 7cm... the pushing was causing swelling instead of helping to dilate.

 

11:00am - At this point, the midwife returned to talk about needing to speed things up as the clock was becoming our enemy. The midwife insisted on increasing Pitocin as soon there would be consequences of not being fully dilated by 24hrs of active labor. She said Laura would have an increased level of Pitocin and then at 2:00pm she would be checked. If at 2:00pm, Laura wasn't fully dilated and ready to push the baby out, it would be time for a c-section.

 

At this point, Laura moved to her most rational state. She was able to recall the things she learned in Baby class, knowing that

despite phrases like "we will have to" or "I insist on", she always had choices. However, Laura was also able to realize that she was reaching a point of truly needing help. In Baby class, the instructor talked to the fathers about how their wife doesn't need to be rescued during labor. The instructor gave each mother a key and said "If there is a point that you need rescued, you can give this key to your spouse to show that you really need help." This was that point for Laura. Between contractions Laura is able to calmly and rationally talk about adding Pitocin and she decides to choose a pain medication. With no regret or disappointment, Laura asks for an epidural in order to get some sleep and have strength for a vaginal delivery. Alicia and Corey fully support her. In fact, Alicia later told Laura that she discussed this with Corey THREE HOURS earlier and was so amazed at Laura's ability to continue on without help.

 

12:00pm - The anesthesiologist comes to give the epidural. Laura thinks it's absolutely ridiculous to have to stay still and have a needle put in her back while having contractions at the same time... but she obliges. The doctor tells her to let him know if anything hurts as he's inserting the epidural. However, each time Laura would say "Ouch!" he'd simply go "Okay." Annoyed, Laura thinks "So doc... if you were going to ignore what I'm saying why did you ask me to tell you?!?!"

Laura immediately falls asleep on her left side, obviously exhausted from all the work. While sleeping she begins to feel contractions despite the epidural, but also doesn't really wake up for those contractions. Alicia, ever attentive, notices the breathing changes and little sounds and calls the nurse so we can push the "happy button." Apparently Laura had a hotspot and needed to pump additional medication to truly be pain free.

 

Laura wakes up around 2:30pm and with help rolls to her right side. She begins to feel more intense pressure with the contractions, but chooses to not push the happy button anymore so that the feeling can help her deliver once the midwife comes back. Corey, Laura, and Alicia are all thankful for the high number of births happening right then as the midwife was delayed an extra hour from the original deadline for checking Laura. This means an extra hour to get to fully dilated. Alicia, Laura, and Corey begin to discuss the options that could happen when the midwife returns. Alicia reminds them of the options that always exist and helps Laura phrase questions and suggestions in order to make informed decisions no matter what the midwife says.

 

3:00pm - Midwife comes back to check Laura. She immediately shouts "HALLELUJAH! We're at 10cm and +1. Let's have a baby!" Alicia, Laura, and Corey all celebrate. There may have even been tears shed. Now there's no need for questions and suggestions, Laura can simply bring Ezekiel into the world now!

 

The nurse comes in to set up the room for delivery. The nurse and Alicia explain how to position your body and bear down for the most effective push and let Laura know that it's ok to have to take a few contractions to figure it out. Corey holds the left leg and Alicia holds the right leg while the nurse watches the business end of this ordeal. It does take a few contractions and a few adjustments but eventually Laura is pushing really well.

 

Ezekiel begins the dance around the pubic bone... three steps forward, two steps back... three steps forward, two steps back. This process continues for approximately an hour and with each push Ezekiel comes that much closer.

 

About 5:30pm the nurse calls the midwife and says "We aren't quite ready to have the baby just yet, but go ahead and come toward the room as it will be soon." Laura pushes maybe two more and then all of a sudden says "bucket!" Knowing this routine, Alicia turns to grab the puke bucket as Laura turns her head and begins to vomit again. The nurse, Alicia, and Corey are all trying to get Laura what she needs to help calm the vomiting when all of a sudden the nurse exclaims "OH MY!!! Okay.... Ummm... try not to vomit!"

 

Apparently, vomiting is even more effective than all other pushes! While everyone was paying attention to the vomit, Ezekiel's head was almost completely out! The nurse reaches down to hold his head from coming any more, the midwife (who entered right as the nurse exclaimed Oh my!) rushes to throw on her gloves, and with one more littlest of pushes at 5:40pm on Thursday, June 9, Ezekiel Richard Jacobs entered the world.

 

He was calm, cool, and collected from the beginning. Almost as if after such a dramatic entrance he was saying, "What? It's just me." The midwife holds him momentarily to help him begin to cry and then places him on Laura's chest. The nurses continue to help him cry to pink up and get rid of the mucus from his nose, mouth, and lungs. Everyone immediately starts to discuss how beautiful and perfect he is... and not just in that "We have to say this" sort of way... but in truth being surprised at how beautiful he was from the very beginning.

 

After helping Laura begin to nurse, Alicia says her goodbyes and leaves for home and a MUCH EARNED rest. Laura's mom comes into the room, glad to finally see her baby girl happy and healthy and holding her own baby. After nursing and bonding, the nursery nurses come to weigh and measure. Ezekiel was 7lbs 14oz and 20in long. His head was 14.5cm (average is 13cm!). And most importantly, he is perfect in every way.