I have always wondered why people respond to certain people
in their lives the way they do. Why does this man respect this guy, but not the
other. Why do I listen to this person, but not the other?
Back in September I was having lunch with a spiritual father
and good friend of mine. We talked for over an hour in a un-busy Mexican restaurant
about all that I wanted to become and the best road for me to be that person
might be. A few bright moments flashed in that time and I said goodbye to him a
few days later so thankful to God for the wisdom He put into this man. A night
or so after the conversation in the restaurant I pitched my new formulation for
getting to where Laura and I wanted to be to Laura. I was so enthused with the
new wisdom I picked up that I was sure she would be blown out of the water. “Well
what do ya think? Do you agree with what I said? Does it make sense?” I asked. Her
reply is still fresh in my mind “Yeah its great. But I already told you that
the other day.” I then remembered how we did talk about the same idea a couple
days ago. There are various factors as to why I did not take her (and mine)
words like I did my good friends and its to lengthy of a thought process.
Of course, we talked it all through I and apologized for not
listening to her sometimes.
However, I want to share with you a little bit, of what I
learned of having influence.
-For starters, you have to be likeable.
Not people pleasing,
likeable…there is a difference.
-Be competent.
Have you ever walked
into a store and needed a specific hard to find item and when you asked a store
clerk they pointed and said “back there somewhere” People of influence have
influence because they talk about something they know what they are talking
about. I also see the flip side of this in if you don’t know something and you
listen to others talk about it and ask questions, most people will have respect
for people who are willing to learn, those who don’t have been trained that
way.
-Be authentic. Some people think of authentic as being
truthful. Telling the truth is being truthful, being authentic is when your
talk and your walk match. If you say you are an astronaut but actually are not
you damage your credibility. Between Christians there is a variable rule of
Grace that covers us and needs to be shared with each other. But being
realistic in who you are and who you are not can be a starting point for
you to be more God like. This is a whole other topic but letting your “bad self”
stay in the dark lets it live, taking this to the Light is what will kill the
evil inside, around or on us.
– You can only be as influential as you let yourself be.
Think about it.
I think a closing thought should be- influence is not control.
It’s the ability to speak into, enable, give life and persuade to action. Oh, and
you can’t force your influence, that’s not influence.
I’ll have more thoughts on this tomorrow-
